"Someone in the Sunday press reminded me of the worst words on TV, that's "except for viewers in Scotland, who have their own programme" this was usually met in our house with a chorus of "whit ? F.F.S. no again" over to the white heather club while the rest of Britain get the live football and , me and my brothers got slapped about the head by our mother for our language." - Cllr Terry Kelly on how he came to be brain-damaged
"People moved between West and East Berlin before, during and after the period 1961 to 1989 - people do not move anywhere that I know of without restrictions and security, the Berlin Wall was a very obvious example of that.
It was built to protect the interests of the Soviets who were entitled to their share of said influence. Do you think that they should have said 'now that we have made this sacrifice and saved the world from Facism we will just toddle off home and you guys can dominate the world at your leisure' ?
My ! Political awareness ? Good god man what kind of an idiot are you ?" - Cllr Terry Kelly rewriting world history
I'm surprise that Adolf Blair didn't make him a spin doctor!