1. Terry Kelly is Chuck Norris' afterbirth.
2. As a newborn baby, Kelly was abandoned by his parents and raised by farmyard animals. This inspired George Orwell to write the book Animal Farm.
3. Terry Kelly's middle names are Sod Off.
4. Terry Kelly has an IQ of less than 12.... and dropping!
5. Terry Kelly was appointed the village idiot for Kensington and Chelsea by Ken Bates in 1987 after Kelly failed to turn up for his final interview for the position. Kelly was the village idiot until 2003, when he was sacked by Roman Abramovich, who replaced Kelly with former boxer Ivan Drago.