Thursday, January 04, 2007

Really Real? Judge For Yourselves

Shortly before the start of the Third Gulf War, someone on GameFAQs posted an open letter from the late Saddam Hussein to the American public. The letter did not receive much publicity apparently due to pressure from the White House, which is a pity because if had better publicised, it would have rendered arguments from pro-Saddam lobbyists such as the Stop The War Coalition and Sean Penn null and void because Saddam actually invites U.S. armed forces into Iraq.

Dear People of America,

My friends, it grieves me that so much misunderstanding has arisen of late between my great country and yours. Your President, Mr. George Bush Jr., has, I think, given you the wrong impression about how I feel about your wonderful country and its citizens. While it is true that some years ago our two glorious nations found themselves engaged in a great war, both fought with honour and the matter ended with no side the clear victor. All that, as your people say, is water over the bridge.

The truth is I love America very much.

How could one not love the U.S.? The physical beauty of your land is breathtaking. Someday I would like to visit your famous Grand Canyon and Mount Rushmore and gaze upon the faces of your great rulers of the past.

I would love to sit and watch one of your American baseball games as I chomp on a wiener with mustard and sauerkraut.

Your Hollywood movies are grand. I very much admire your John Wayne, certainly the manliest of men. And Tom Cruise is the finest young actor in the world. Who would not take delight in his strong, lean physique? I would relish the opportunity to personally entertain him in Baghdad. Just the other day I was watching a videotape of the dazzling movie Minority Report, which I enjoyed very much. Someday I would like to meet the director, Mr. Steven Spielberg, and have him explain it to me.

As some of you might know, I am something of a creative artist myself. I have written a few novels that have met with some critical success here. Would it not be magnificent if Mr. Spielberg and I were to collaborate on a film project, made here in beautiful Iraq? The fact that he is of the Hebrew faith is of no concern to me. Despite what you may have heard about my so-called “gassing” of the Kurds, mine is a heart free of prejudice and hate.

Your American rock music, too, is so fresh and entertaining. When we hold parties at the presidential palace I love to shake my booty, as your young people say. Those sweet-faced boys in *NSYNC are so talented. They, too, have an open invitation to visit my country – as does each and every American who reads this letter.

Perhaps when you come to my country and see the smiling faces of little Iraqi children waving the American flag, you will see there is no need for further conflict. Do not be misled by the things you may have heard. I see America as a friend, not an enemy. Let us make love, not war.


His Excellency, Saddam Hussein

Once you have finished laughing at all the unintended (?) homoerotic statements, you might be thinking that this letter is a hoax. I believe that this note is genuine because it contains some credible clues. Saddam claims to have watched Minority Report on videotape. Due to international sanctions imposed on Iraq at the time, the only way Saddam could have gained access to the film on videotape is if it was a pirated copy.

Speaking from personal experience, I can assure you that media piracy is rife throughout the Middle East with the authorities often turning a blind eye to such activities. Media piracy was only officially banned in Saudi Arabia during 1995 to very little effect; so one can imagine who much worse the problem is in Iraq even today. However, I digressed from the matter at hand which to gauge the authenticity of the letter.

I believe that the example I have mentioned and my reasons why have I am convinced that this letter from Saddam was genuine.

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